by: terez cairucross
Khanyeigh Dlamini. There she sat, on a bench under a large tree, right on time, and waited for me. The moment we began speaking I realised that this young woman was unique. We spoke about her background, her life at Rhodes University and what she hopes to achieve in the future. I began to see this lady for who she really is. She embraces her flaws and doesn’t hide her internal struggles as so many of us would do. She is raw and unapologetically Khanyeigh
“I hate that I’m shy,” she once told me, when we had met for the first time. She hated that her shyness stopped her from doing things, experiencing life. That first time we sat together and spoke, the atmosphere around us was awkward and empty. Khanyeigh gladly answered the questions I had but that was it. There was nothing more. The second time around, when she sat on that wooden bench and the sun shined onto her brown skin through the branches of an evergreen, her body language was so natural that it felt as if I was meeting her for the first time. I had forgotten about the Khanyeigh I had already met. I asked her if she considered herself an introvert of some sort. She thought for a moment, rolling her eyes to look up to the clear, blue sky. “I am an introvert until I get to know someone, then I become sociable.” A moment of comfortable silence went by. “And I’m just comfortable with you now.” I couldn’t help but feel honoured.
Although born in Cape Town, Khanyeigh grew up in the city of Johannesburg. School life wasn’t always the best for her as she never truly clicked with her peers. She would rather occupy herself with societies and extra-mural activities such as choir, drama and keeping fit. In high school she was part of a youth choir and that was where she gained true friendships, ones that will last a lifetime. When she spoke about her relationship with her parents, her face lit up. “My parents and I are like this,” she said, lifting up her hand and twisting her index and middle finger around each other, “I am really so blessed to have parents like them.” It was easy to notice that Khanyeigh had a special type of admiration for her parents. When I asked her what she looks for in a relationship, she immediately said that her goal is to share a love like the type her parents have. She went on to explain how they support each other through so many things and still have a special love after all these years of marriage: “It is so
beautiful to see,” she says. Although her parents are overprotective of her, being their only child, they understand that she is growing up and they are learning to let her live life independently. Being the oldest grandchild in her family, Khanyeigh also feels she has a responsibility to set a good example to her younger cousins, leading a way for them, which is why coming to Rhodes University is her biggest accomplishment. It has led Khanyeigh to experience many new things; living on her own, going to clubs for the first time and trying to hold together a long-distance relationship with her boyfriend. Being in this new environment hasn’t necessarily helped her to stop being shy but she has learnt to warm up to people more easily. She even gained a very close friend who lives in the same residence with her and whom she simply just “clicked” with.
“What are your goals?”, a very simple question, yet the look on her face whilst trying to answer it made me feel as though I had asked a question that there was no answer to. Her face scrunched up, squinting her eyes to the point where they appeared as thin black lines. “I’m really lost, to be honest.” Pause. “I have no direction, at all.” Pause. “I feel as though I am just existing.” Her answers came out one by one, each accompanied with an expression of self-doubt. She explained to me that she has so many passions and a big desire to enrich herself through learning. She cannot figure out what she wants to do, where she sees herself in the future and what career she would like to have. She does know one thing though, that she wants to change people’s perspective of the world. And since she enjoys writing and uses it as a way to express how she feels, she figures she can use that as a medium to alter the perceptions people have.
Khanyeigh Dlamini. A lost girl in a big world. A passionate learner with a bright future. An only child with two loving parents. She is living life, learning more as she goes along, and accepting that she may need a lot more time to figure things out than people would expect. She embraces her struggles and flaunts her flaws. As I said goodbye to her before we parted ways, I couldn’t help but lean in for a hug. “I’ll see you soon,” she said and we both smiled. Khanyeigh Dlamini. A friend.
periodt.
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